Time is a Funny Thing

On September 2nd, 2013 I had been in Honduras for a month. And what a long month that was! Not gonna lie, that first month was one of the hardest. I didn’t know anyone, I was living alone for the first time in my life, and it would be an entire year before I would get to see my family again. When I reached four weeks it was a huge accomplishment. When I reached 8 weeks it was a huge accomplishment. Somewhere in the middle I stopped counting weeks, and began counting months. Six months was a big one – I was halfway through. It felt good, but in some ways it still felt like I had a long way to go. Even though I had been here for six months, I still had just as long left. But from that point on, my time left would always be shorter than the time I had already been here.

Don’t get me wrong, I have more than enjoyed my time in Honduras. I have met some really amazing people. I have learned a lot about myself and about what it means to be a Christian, a neighbor, and a friend. But although homesickness does get better, it never goes away completely, at least not for me. Every once in a while it still hits me. I see pictures of my nieces on Facebook or Skype with my grandpa and wish I could reach through the screen and give them all a hug. Sometimes it happens at predictable times like birthdays and holidays, but other times it’s completely unexpected – like when I’m watching a T.V. show or cooking dinner. Still, while I do miss home, I have also thoroughly enjoy living and working in Honduras.

With so many emotions and experiences wrapped into one, time begins to do funny things. One minute it seems like time is flying. The next it feels like an eternity. A few weeks ago I had the heart stopping realization that I’m running out of time here. Four weeks, which felt like such a long time when I first got here, will be over in the blink of an eye. Four weeks! In four weeks, my students will be taking their final exams and I will be done teaching. We as teachers have some time after the students finish in which we will wrap up our grades and get the school ready for next year, but even so my time is running short.

It’s easy to get caught up thinking about time – how much time is left; how short/long it feels. I think my biggest challenge right now is to just stop worrying about it. Will I get a chance to do everything I want to do before I head back to the States? Maybe, maybe not.  But worrying about it won’t help at all. Paradoxically, the more I concern myself with time, the less I have to enjoy myself. My purpose remains the same whether I have three years or three hours left in Honduras: to build relationships with the people in my community and share the love of God in Christ. And though my time here has been short, I have learned so much, and it will stay with me forever. Please pray for me, that I am able to delve more fully into my community and share all that I have to offer until my time here draws to a close. 

One of the many wonderful moments I've had in Honduras (this is from when the short term mission group was here from Dallas).