On September 2nd, 2013 I had been in Honduras for a month.
And what a long month that was! Not gonna lie, that first month was one of the
hardest. I didn’t know anyone, I was living alone for the first time in my
life, and it would be an entire year before I would get to see my family again.
When I reached four weeks it was a huge accomplishment. When I reached 8 weeks
it was a huge accomplishment. Somewhere in the middle I stopped counting weeks,
and began counting months. Six months was a big one – I was halfway through. It
felt good, but in some ways it still felt like I had a long way to go. Even
though I had been here for six months, I still had just as long left. But from
that point on, my time left would always be shorter than the time I had already
been here.
Don’t get me wrong, I have more than enjoyed my time in
Honduras. I have met some really amazing people. I have learned a lot about
myself and about what it means to be a Christian, a neighbor, and a friend. But
although homesickness does get better, it never goes away completely, at least not
for me. Every once in a while it still hits me. I see pictures of my nieces on
Facebook or Skype with my grandpa and wish I could reach through the screen and
give them all a hug. Sometimes it happens at predictable times like birthdays
and holidays, but other times it’s completely unexpected – like when I’m
watching a T.V. show or cooking dinner. Still, while I do miss home, I have
also thoroughly enjoy living and working in Honduras.
With so many emotions and experiences wrapped into one, time
begins to do funny things. One minute it seems like time is flying. The next it
feels like an eternity. A few weeks ago I had the heart stopping realization
that I’m running out of time here. Four weeks, which felt like such a long time
when I first got here, will be over in the blink of an eye. Four weeks! In four
weeks, my students will be taking their final exams and I will be done
teaching. We as teachers have some time after the students finish in which we
will wrap up our grades and get the school ready for next year, but even so my
time is running short.
It’s easy to get caught up thinking about time – how much
time is left; how short/long it feels. I think my biggest challenge right now
is to just stop worrying about it. Will I get a chance to do everything I want
to do before I head back to the States? Maybe, maybe not. But worrying about it won’t help at all.
Paradoxically, the more I concern myself with time, the less I have to enjoy myself.
My purpose remains the same whether I have three years or three hours left in
Honduras: to build relationships with the people in my community and share the
love of God in Christ. And though my time here has been short, I have learned
so much, and it will stay with me forever. Please pray for me, that I am able
to delve more fully into my community and share all that I have to offer until
my time here draws to a close.
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| One of the many wonderful moments I've had in Honduras (this is from when the short term mission group was here from Dallas). |
